Great Poly Relationships: Staying Cool When Tensions Are High

This is a great article on an important topic. Couldn’t have said it better myself, so here is my first reblog!

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Emotional support and polyamory

So far most of my blog posts have been lighthearted stories or resources, with some sarcasm thrown in to disguise my lack of writing skills. But today I’m going to write about something a little different, and a lot more personal to me. Like many women, I have pretty low self esteem when it comes to body image. Combine that with an unhealthy relationship with food and you get an eating disorder.

Being in a polyamorus relationship makes my issues both easier and harder to deal with at times. On one hand, I have two men constantly telling me how beautiful and wonderful I am. But on the other hand, I sometimes have thoughts like “with the way I look, I don’t deserve having two amazing partners.”

The great thing about being polyamorous is that you have twice (or three or four times) as much support. Between the two guys and Aidan’s backward-ass work hours, I have 24 hour access to someone who I can cuddle or talk to about personal stuff. But the best part is that each of the guys have their own way of supporting me. Ash will make cute faces, say silly things to make me laugh, and play games with me to take my mind of things. Aidan will have deep conversations with me and help me get to the core of what’s bothering me. He’ll stay level-headed when my emotional side gets the best of me and offer me practical solutions. Thanks to my two lovely boys, I get the best of both worlds.

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‘Till next time!

-Emma

The quad next door

So…. We are now technically a quad!!

But I’m not going to change the title of this blog for two reasons. The first one is that I can’t be bothered making a new banner. The second is what I’ll be explaining in this post.

Over the past month, Aidan has become particularly close to a lovely woman called Rose. They share a lot of interests and just generally get on well together. It started off as all new relationships do: they went on dates, counted down the days till they saw each other, and (at least in Aidan’s case) pranced around the house like a love-sick puppy. But of course, there was a big difference in this relationship. Aidan is also dating me- we are polyamorous. Rose knew about this before the relationship had developed, so it wasn’t a surprise or anything. But it was still very interesting for her becoming involved with us. Not only had she gained a boyfriend, but an over-excitable girlfriend-in-law who couldn’t go two seconds being in the same room as them without exclaiming how adorable they were together. But being the easy-going person that she is, Rose went along with it and embraced the strange dynamics.

However, a few nights ago, Aidan and Rose had a very serious talk about their relationship. Rose was beginning to realise that, while she wasn’t jealous or uncomfortable with Aidan having another partner, it wasn’t really what she wanted in the long term. And so it was decided that they would continue their relationship, but perhaps on a more casual level, knowing that it would eventually come to an end.

I was a little surprised, and a bit upset when I heard the news. But, I am extremely glad that Rose realised this now and not months or years down the track. I think all of us are gaining something valuable out of this relationship, even if it doesn’t last forever. Rose had tried something new, and now knows what it is she needs to be comfortable in a long-term relationship. For me, having a metamour for the first time was a wonderful experience. While the feeling was almost completely positive, there was still a little fear and jealousy involved which I learned to deal with in a constructive way. And Aidan had the opportunity to explore his feelings without fear or guilt which was new for him, being monogomus for most of his life.

So that’s the rundown. I plan to write another article soon which focuses more on the thoughts and emotions I have been dealing with regarding Aidan having a second partner. But that’s all for now :)

Stay tuned!

-Emma