Accidentally an advocate

I won’t lie, I did consider shutting down this blog after I’d announced that Aidan and I broke up. But within hours of posting that blog entry, I got an email from someone on ABC local radio who wanted me to do an interview on polyamory. This wouldn’t be the first time someone has contacted me and asked me to talk about polyamory on a semi-official platform. And that’s when I realised that my experiences and opinions are still relevant to the poly community. Through creating this blog and making my story public, I’ve accidentally become an advocate of polyamory, and now I feel somewhat obligated to continue. Not that I don’t want to of course- there are so few people who are out there educating people about polyamory, and it’s something I want to see more of. Why not me?

I still have dozens of blog entry ideas. Polyamory is such a broad topic, and there is always more to learn. Even though I’ve let myself get a little slack with the frequency of updates, I’ve decided that there’s too much still to be said to not continue blogging!

As for the radio interview? I ultimately had to decline as I had a cold, and would have sounded terrible on air. But if things continue the way they have been, it probably won’t be the last time I have another chance to talk about polyamory.

-Emma

One year of TTND!

I actually made an entry every month for a whole year!! (only just… some of my entries were posted in the last few hours of the month). Thanks to all my followers who have given me the motivation and inspiration to keep up with this. I have big plans for this blog over the coming year, so stay tuned!

17

-Emma

Bar(r)ed Subjects talks about polyamory!

Man… Posting once a month shouldn’t be that hard. But apparently it is, because I’ve left it till the last second again.

Okay so last month, someone contacted me through my blog. I can now safely assume I have at least one reader. So this guy, Luke, runs a group in Hobart called Bar(r)ed Subjects, where a bunch of people get together over a monthly dinner and talk about stuff that opens their mind. Luke asked me to come along to the group and give a bit of a speech about what it’s like to be polyamorous.

Well… to be honest my first reaction was to decline. I may seem confident from the safety of behind my computer screen, but in real life I am not the type to do public speaking. I am, however, the type to know what I stand for, and to know what’s important to me. This was an opportunity to share an amazing part of my life, and to express why it’s important for others to have the option to explore this lifestyle.

The night went amazingly well. It helped that everyone there was prepared to hear things that challenged them, and came into it with an open mind. In fact, that’s kind of the whole point of the group. But it was still nice, and really refreshing, to be able to talk about something so openly that I usually have to hide, or occasionally get silently judged for.

Ash managed to find some time to come with me, so it was great to have someone there who could add things from a different perspective. Although I got a bit scared and lost my train of thought a couple of times, I managed to get my point across fairly smoothly and the rest of the night was spent enjoying the meal and answering the questions of the other group members.

I never set out to be an activist. But I dunno, it could be where I’m going. Polyamorists are a small minority, so we need whatever voice we can get to educate people and get them thinking about different ways of living and loving. Could I be that voice?

As always, thanks for reading. If I stop updating, don’t panic. It just means I’ve let my laziness get the best of me.

-Emma

Talking to acquaintances about polyamory

Ahhh, did I say I was going to update every single day? That was a bad typo on my part. What I actually meant to write was, “I’m unbelievably lazy and I’ll update whenever I feel like it, probably no more than a few times a month”. It’s funny how a few incorrect letters can change the whole meaning of a sentence, isn’t it?

So, to business. This topic has been on my mind for a while, since as I’ve started university recently and I find myself interacting with the human race a lot more than I used to. The last time I talked to strangers about my relationship(s) was in high school, and that was easy because I would just talk about my one partner and nobody would bat an eyelid.

Now I want you to think back to before you knew anything about polyamory. You’re chatting with someone you’ve just met, and the topic of relationships comes up. “Do you have a partner at the moment?” you ask casually. “Oh, I actually have two.”

Say what?

This seems to be an increasingly common scenario in my current life. And for me, the concept is so normal and mundane I often forget that most people haven’t even heard of polyamory. The next two or three hours of the conversation are usually spent explaining how I can be having sex with two guys without either of them wanting to rip the other’s jugular out.8

It can be exhausting explaining it over and over. You might be wondering why I even bother to tell people at all when I could just answer with “I’m in a relationship” and not be lying. For the first year or so of being polyamorous, that’s exactly what I did. But I hated pretending to be someone I wasn’t. And more importantly, I learned a lesson. That is, the longer you know someone, the harder it becomes to tell them that you’re actually a freak. I have a few friends who, to this day, don’t know I have two partners. Whenever I talk about Aidan or Ash I just say “my partner”, leaving them with a weird hybrid impression of both of them as the same person. Which leads to another problem: “Wait, you said your partner is a librarian? I thought you said he was a baker?”

So as time went on, I started telling people at the earliest possible convenience. Even though I am putting myself out there as a poly person and will thereafter be judged as such, it saves a lot of stress later on, especially if that acquaintance becomes a friend. And it also filters out those superficial people who only want to be your friend if they think you’ll be a good-looking accessory at their dinner parties.

Stay tuned!

-Emma

Dear internet,

Welcome to my slice of WordPress, a blog about the family life of a polyamorus triad. That means that I (Emma) am dating two men at the same time (Aidan and Ashley). The guys are not involved with each other, though they are best friends and treat each other like brothers.

Now depending on how much you know about the concept of polyamory, that will either sound all well and good, or completely freaky. No matter which end of the spectrum you’re on, I hope you will find this blog an interesting read, and maybe learn a few things! I plan to write articles about my/our views on anything relationship or polyamory related, how our lives work together, and the various shenanigans we get up to.

This happens to be my first ever blog, so I’ve spent the better part of this week avoiding study researching blogs thoroughly. Reading what I’ve written so far, I guess my writing style feels a little stiff, but I expect I’ll ease into a more natural style as I start to post more and get some feedback (which I’d really, really love!).

So I’ll leave it as a short introduction for now. I still have to figure out what all the little buttons do on my WordPress dashboard.

Ciao!
-Emma